1. Sweet, sweet Brenda. I'm so proud of you for getting over your obvious deformity-- your scarily asymmetrical eyes that seem to get strangely worse when you looked in mirrors--and getting on with your acting career. But why, when it's clear that you have eyes with a 2 inch vertical difference, would Aaron Spelling and Darren Star and (fill in a bunch of names of people who ACTUALLY made those kinds of decisions here) DEMAND that your scenes be shot while you stared in front of mirrors a minimum of 3 times per episode? Was this their clever punishment for you being such a heinous bitch on set? No matter, in high school I cut a blunt bang and wore pinkish-orangeish eyeshadow just like you, Bren-Bren! For your total, 1993 Brenda bonanza try Mac's Firespot shadow and Slimshine lipstick in Ultra-Elegant. Whatever you do, don't emmulate Shan-Do now. Why? Because she's a hot, fucking mess. But let's all appalud her for cultivating such amazingly scary crow's feet so people would stop staring at her bizarre lack of facial symmetry, and concentrate more on her stunning case of Progeria.
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